Illegal Immigration Minister arrested after complaints from Legal Migration Minister

The friction between the two roles was apparent from the start and was never going to work. The Immigration Ministerial position was split in two last year and no one in power recognised the risk of introducing a pro illegal immigration role.

The foreign secretary, soon to be Grant Shapps, was appalled that a minister was able to illegally operate in such a high position and was so brazen about their nefarious activities that they actually had “illegal” in their job description. The home secretary, soon to be Grant Shapps again, has blamed Labour for not having an effective plan of dealing with this kind of problem and said it would only get worse under a Keir Starmer regime.

The Minister of defence, Grant Shapps, said that this arrest marked a success in defending Britain and showed how effective all of his policies have been in all of his roles.

The minister for common sense, soon to be Grant Shapps, said, “Well it’s just common sense innit.” And who can argue with that.

The arrested minister was taken away and forcibly shown a picture of Rwanda.

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Another month, another Ministry for the Flotsam Kid

Misery should be "default" says minister

Britain's office workers should get back to expensive and time wasting commutes, sick buildings and sexual harassment, said a spokesperson for the chancellor yesterday.

Billie Bunt, Junior Minister for Treasure, clarified that the government's position is that, as most key workers cannot work from home, and are often paid less than office workers, something has to give. And as a pay rise for nurses was obviously unthinkable, back on the buses it is.

"Britain's swift adjustment to home working was a resounding success - giving people flexibility, helping people see their families more, and saving money and pollution" continued Ms Bunt, "it's got to stop. How are the property and transport companies going to pay their dividends if we go on pandering to what the little people actually want? Trusting them to decide how they live their lives? They'll be wanting to choose who's in government next."

image from pixabay

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