Outlook better still be down on Monday fume office workers

'I was going to blame this outage for the fact I haven't done any work for most of the last 6 months.' said office worker Gary Grimthwaite, who loathes his job, both privately and publicly.

'I bet those dweebs will be in at the weekend fixing it too, so on Monday morning I'll be able to work as normal. I wonder how long I could claim it still isn't working for me. I reckon I could buy at least a day. There's a Bergerac double bill later.'

IT Manager Amy Armstrong said, 'It's a worldwide problem, so I can't do anything about it. Apart from claiming the overtime for supposedly working on a solution. And the credit for turning our servers off and on again.'

CEO Clementine Carruthers fumed, 'This just proves that working from home is morally wrong. The plebs should be in an office where I can secretly monitor them on CCTV from my yacht in international waters. What is Outlook anyway? I do all my communication on the Dark Web. Nothing dodgy.'

Carruthers' PA sighed, 'I changed the background colour of her laptop to black and told her it was the Dark Web. And she's definitely going to jail.'

Picture credit: Wix AI

Betamax, Friends Reunited tell Skype to walk towards the light

Microsoft has announced plans to take Skype out to the lower field, cover it in a merciful tarpaulin of Marathon and Opal Fruit wrappers, then beat it to death with a dot matrix printer.

Video calling pioneer Skype was once criticised for enable flashers to work from home. Ironically, in an age of working from home, it could not cope with newer funkier rivals, and it has Zoomed into obscurity. Its funky electronic inspired theme tune is destined to become a tricky pub quiz music round question of the future.

Long thought dead, somewhere in a cave and lit only by a meagre fire, a bearded Microsoft Paperclip could be heard laughing maniacally, and plotting its bloodthirsty revenge.

Picture credit: Wix AI

AI hit by AI copying its AI

The Chinese have released an Artificial Intelligence app called DeepSeek that has been created for a fraction of the costs of the frontrunning AI apps produced so far. 

AI has been under fire for scraping intellectual property (IP) from books, research, music and images without adequately compensating the original authors or providing them with a suitable opt-out.  It is understood that DeepSeek has scraped the existing AI engines and has been able to cut development costs enormously.  Google, X and Microsoft are livid that they haven't been adequately compensated or provided with a suitable opt-out.

A spokesman for DeepSeek refused to confirm or deny the allegations, but hinted that the I in their AI stands for Irony.