Prince Harry denazifies his wardrobe

Prince Harry has finally gone ahead and chucked out his much-revered Nazi outfit

'It didn't feel right having that thing in my wardrobe. Now and again, it would give a Nazi salute and smack Meghan right in the gob', a source close to the prince indicated that he said. 'I simply can't have that thing swinging around in my closet threatening to invade Europe.'

I tried fobbing it off to Oxfam on Windsor High Street and finally gave it away to a homeless man called Ron who lives behind the shoes and elastic bands recycling bin outside the Tesco's local.'

Royal correspondent and thirty-ninth in line to the throne, Czar Nicholas Witchell, has announced that the royal consent has been given for a replacement uniform. This will be an authentic KGB interrogation officer's outfit purchased directly from the Russian Embassy by the Duchy of Cornwall.'

Image: Pixabay/stevepb

Britain to return Edwin Barbles to Greece

After decades of prevarication, Britain has agreed to return Edwin Barbles to Greece. Mr. Barbles, a retired postman who lives in Doncaster, is to be handed over to the Greek ambassador in a formal ceremony in Athens later this week. He released the following statement today, through his lawyer, and his packing case:

"I think there has definitely been a mistake. I have never been to Greece. I was a postman. I like Doncaster. Please let me out."

The UK foreign office responded in a press release.

"Finally, we can put this matter to rest. We're pretty sure that Greece has been asking us to send them Edwin Barbles for years now. Naturally, we were reluctant to do so at first, but they insisted, so we're just going to post him. It's definitely him they want and nothing to do with any museums, whatever they are. We could not be more confident that we are doing the right thing."

The UK foreign office responded to their first press release with a second press release:

"Alright, we might have mis-heard, but Edwin Barbles is Greece's problem now, and they can do what they want with him. They can put him on display or tour him around the world."

The UK foreign office responded with a third press release:

"Wait, maybe they said the 'Meghan Markle'? Damn, missed opportunity."

Athens Caryatid Greece - Free photo on Pixabay

Get more NewsBiscuit humour on Amazon

Surprise gifts now all in charity shops	eBook and print versions	Nobody gives a f*ck about the Google daily artwork anymore