Bookies odds on Donald Trump’s next big surprises

Donald Trump continues to outwit the bookies, with a series of moves that no-one saw coming. Like sacking the head of the army, calling Zelensky a dictator, voting with Russia in the UN and lying his face off in front of Emmanuel Macron. If you’d predicted all those things, then an accumulator bet would have made you very rich.

So, if you fancy your chances, bookies are offering good odds on the next bizarre moves by the orange man baby. Here’s a quick rundown:

5-4 odds:   Trump claims Australia (and all its minerals), saying that all native Australians are descended from Native Americans who crossed the pacific in small boats in the 12th century.

2-1:  Trump reintroduces segregation. This time it is for non-Americans, especially Mexicans and Canadians, and for anyone who is LGBTQ. Planes, trains and buses must have separate seats, toilets and in flight snacks for true Americans.

5-2:  Trump amends the US Constitution to allow him a third term. And a fourth. And a fifth.

3-1:  Trump refuses to assist LA after the devastating fires, saying that it was all due to Democrat policies.

4-1:  Trump demands that the firstborn in each household is slain. For non-American households only, obviously.

5-1:  Trump starts holding all meetings naked, saying that nakedness is simply a logical extension of free speech

6-1:  Trump nominates himself to be the next Pope and/or to be America’s first king

10-1:  Trump and Putin agree to share the moon, and tell India and China that they already owe the US a considerable amount in parking fines and penalties for the abandoned space vehicles up there.

12-1:   Trump demands, and is given, the Oscar for best President.  JD Vance gets best supporting President.

14-1:  Trump demands a rematch against the Sioux and Arapahoe tribes in Battle of the Little Bighorn 2, and that this is filmed for Netflix

15-1: Trump sells Truth Social to Elon Musk for billions

16-1:  Trump tries to sell Jordan (the country) to Syria

1,000,000-1:  Trump stops lying and being a git and apologises for everything

Trump says Europeans can join Ukraine peace talks - and serve the coffee

At a White House press conference this morning President Trump revealed European countries could be involved in the Ukraine peace talks.

'Vladimir and I think it would be nice to have them there,' said Trump. 'Really nice, so nice. There will be difficult moments in the negotiations and it is then we will all need to break for coffee. Hopefully the Italians are there. Their coffee is great, especially with those free little biscuits, I always take a big handful of those.'

He went on to say, 'European input into the negotiations will be important, everyone there will want a croissant to begin with, can’t start on an empty stomach. The French understand that. Yes, we’ll have the Europeans here as long as they can quietly serve everyone without getting in the way, and I’d love it if they could wear white gloves too. Very smart. I get the staff in Mar-a-Lago to use those too, you know, especially when handling classified documents.

Picture credit: Wix AI

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