Leaked reports from a House of Lords committee express concerns that the cost of a lottery ticket is too low and jackpot wins are enabling some of the hoi polloi to get beyond their station by winning a fortune that in time, might enable them to become lords. They assert that only by excluding the poor from participating in the lottery, will it be possible to maintain the fairness in politics the nation was accustomed to.
photo: https://pixabay.com/users/paulodiniz-2972828/
Car loving lotto winner Micheal Trippet, 37 from Stoud, yesterday spoke of his joy at receiving £1.8m in prize money.
"It's amazing, it means my dream can come true. Cars are my passion and now I have enough money to fill the tank."
Mr Trippet owns a 2007 Vauxhall Astra but hasn't been able to drive it since the price of fuel was driven up when Russia's lunatic-in-chief went full Dr Strangelove.
"It's just been sat on the drive for weeks. I'll have to put some air in the tires."
Personal finance expert Derek Hawthorne estimates Mr Trippet will be able to afford three full tanks of the 1.6 litre Astra with his winnings, after tax.
But Mr Tripper's is sharing his winnings with his wife, Janice 35, and she also has spending plans.
"I'm going to put the heating on." She said with an infectious giggle. "I can't believe it. We've been wearing these sleeping bags around the house for a month. My mother says there's no point as we'll all be superheated by nuclear armageddon soon enough, but I just think, sod it, I'm going to treat myself and just splurge on British Gas. Or is it Russian gas?"
Mr and Mrs Trippet are already planning their first drive, to the local supermarket. "It'll be nice to get behind the wheel again. And with a bit of luck we'll have a bit of cash left over to treat ourselves to some food from the Spar, if they've got anything on the shelves we can afford."
In an extraordinary turn of events Jack Carter, the Euromillions winner and former landscape gardener, continues to be euphorically joyful - despite sociological expectations that he would now be wholly dependent on Prozac.
Contrary to the popular belief that above a certain threshold money cannot increase happiness, Jack's situation demonstrates entirely the opposite. In fact, his contentment rises in line with the quantity of consumer goods he acquires, conclusively proving that materialism is not a fleeting pleasure.
After guzzling a 1961 Dom Perignon straight from the bottle, Mr. Carter declared: 'Everybody should own an Ultra HD curved-screen TV. The higher levels of contrast mean that less external light is directed towards you, creating an unbelievably immersive experience. If you have a why to live you can bear almost any how'.
