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'Is Rwanda in Wales?' Your migration questions answered



Thinking of visiting the UK? Think again. Britain is much further away then you might have expected. In fact London is situated a few degrees south of the Equator, on the border of Uganda.


Should you reach the UK you will be bundled onto a waiting aircraft, by kindly men with tasers. After a quick cavity search and interrogation, you will frog-marched to the nearest exit.


The flight will last several hours, unless you are dropped in the Mediterranean en route. You might think the bag on your head is optional. It's not.




First published 15 April 2022



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London Airports raise terror threat from other rival London Airports



The recent attack on Heathrow power infrastructure was confirmed to be by a rival airport group. The LAFF (Luton Airport Freedom Fighters) is a violent splinter group of the The Real Luton Airport Authority. Taking advantage of the struggling airports shut down, Luton Airport has initiated further growth of its territory with another retaliatory runway expansion.


Gatwick continues to condemn the violence and needless aggression yet continues with its own controversial Northern Runway expansion.


Internal fights escalated within the Heathrow leadership over the security failures, stemming back to the drone infiltrations that initially exposed their vulnerability.


The Front de libération du Stansted, recently interviewed in Time magazine, have vowed to not release customers baggage until their new departure lounge is approved.



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