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Following a deeply troubling exchange during which Liz Truss said that her daddy was bigger than Vladimir Putin's daddy, the head of Russian bear wrangling has threatened to impose severe sanctions against the West. This is in retaliation for an escalation of tongues being stuck out from behind the skirt of NATO.
'Firstly, and most importantly, there will be an immediate repatriation of Liz Truss's culturally misappropriated hat.'
'There will then follow a strict ban on all dolls being put inside other dolls.'
'No other nation will be allowed to use the colours red, white or blue in their flags.'
'And finally, there will be no more beluga caviar pies served in the executive boxes at Chelski matches.'
The government has stated that it cannot evacuate any British nationals from Ukraine in time as all RAF flights are busy evacuating animals form animal sanctuaries in the country. In a statement the government has expressed sadness at having to cut British nationals out of the evacuation, but stated a precedent has been set and the Prime Minister is known to be a stickler for following the rules. 'Once the dogs, cats and donkeys are flown into the UK it's likely that the Ukraine will effectively be part of Russia. In fact, according to Liz Truss, it already is,' said a government spokesperson today.
image from pixabay
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