The artist who was grateful to give up on a commission after 48 days

Liz Truss to repay 22 billion blackhole by becoming Deliveroo driver

Sources close to Liz Truss have said the former Prime Minster is preparing to be of service to her country once more in its time of need. The former Prime Minister has a plan to repay the 22 billion pound blackhole in the current public finances by taking a job as a Deliveroo driver in Norfolk.

The Former Prime Minster, who appears to have lost none of her keen grasp of economics, has told colleagues she is a great believer in the gig economy, people should be able to pick-up short-term work whenever they need it like being a Uber or Deliveroo Driver or Prime Minister of a G7 Country.

Despite being blamed for one of the most calamitous financial episodes in recent British history, when her mini budget involving massive unfunded tax cuts nearly turned the country into a live re-enactment of the Hunger Games, Truss remains unrepentant.

She believes her robust response to help restore government finances will set an example to the people of Britain who she believes have become a nation of idlers. And by calculating that it will take her a mere 1.2 million years to repay the current debt, she will overturn people’s views about her economics although not about her sanity.

Photo by Carl Campbell on Unsplash

Slowly lowered banner of Liz Truss causes lettuce to flounce off stage

A lettuce attempting to promote its vacuous new book 10 Days 'Til The Rocket Goes Off was rudely mocked when a banner of Liz Truss slowly unfurled behind it.

'I should have the freedom to be in any manky salad I like,' sulked the lettuce, before exiting stage left, pursued by a giant rabbit.

But having more nous than a former short-tolerated leader of the UK, the lettuce returned, recognising that self-promotion is what it's all about. 'I suppose you've done me a great favour. Otherwise, this event wouldn't have been even a blip on anyone's radar. Thank you.'

Showing a modicum of character and displaying considerably more backbone than the amateur economy crasher, the lettuce continued, 'If you can't laugh at yourself, then you really shouldn't be in this game, right?

'Now, as I was saying, let me tell you about the time I outlasted - and indeed outperformed - a Prime Minister...'

Image: Pixabay/BLACK17BG