The Prime Minister has issued a comprehensive rebuttal after an American billionaire and social media tech geek called him a 'sprout eater'.
The jibe, originally posted on the billionaire’s social media platform, went viral. Newspapers around the world put the accusation on their front pages, and media outlets sought out vegetable experts for comment. The Prime Minister found himself unable to discuss any current issues or government policies because the media only wanted to ask him about sprouts.
The Prime Minister has today issued a thorough rebuttal. He upholds the nutritional value of sprouts and other brassicas. He confirms that he and his family eat a wide range of seasonal vegetables, in line with NHS guidance, including some sprouts at Christmas.
The PM rejected 'an impoverished vision of the world in which political leaders are ranked according to their food preferences'. But he did admit that the Daily Star’s lettuce-based criticism of Liz Truss was fair game and good fun.
The PM stoutly defended British sprout growers, British sprout exports, British greengrocers and all other sprouts retailers. He reminded everyone that Britain’s best experts continued to work hard to bring new and exciting breeds of sprout to world markets.
He concluded by saying that Britain was a proud democracy in which everyone could choose whether or not to eat sprouts, without harassment or embarrassment. And he said that sprouts represented an inclusive vision of a healthy and tolerant British society, ready to accept diversity and to turn away from division.
In the meantime, the billionaire antagonist has moved on, and is now calling the PM a cabbage brained pea-wit. If this latest insult also gains traction, then Keir Starmer is expected to issue a new rebuttal in ten to fifteen days.
Image: WixAI
