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Donald Trump has threatened to become a gay icon as soon as he takes office. The president-elect says he will, if necessary, use the power of the US military to force the issue should congress block elevation to queer iconography. In a tweet posted at 3.56am, @donaldtrump declared, 'My numbers were up with the blacks, with the Hispanics, and with the gays. No one has done more for the gays than me!' 


Other gay icons have expressed their displeasure. Sources close to Ru Paul say the performer is threatening to go straight if the gay community embrace Trump while Kylie Minogue has, in order to send a strong message, pledged to grow a fat arse. 'A new Trump government was always going to entail a certain amount of chaos and his appearance on the cover of Attitude will upset just about everyone,' said that source close to Ru Paul.


image from pixabay

While the LGBTQ+ community is correctly outraged by the pronouncement by the so-called Minister for Common Sense outlawing the wearing of rainbow-coloured lanyards (often pronounced 'land yards' by some, maybe just one, Member of Parliament) by Civil Servants as she maintains they should remain publicly politically neutral.  'I didn't know demonstrating one's sexual orientation, or showing support for those of specific orientation was a political act,' said one Civil Servant, proudly wearing a rainbow lanyard.  'I've worked with Labour, Liberal Democrat and, of course, Conservative MPs over my career and there were plenty of LGBTQ+ amongst them.  Obviously, the Conservative LGBTQ+ MPs didn't advertise it and waited patiently to be outed in a sleaze scandal, but that's how you get promoted with the Tories,' he added.


The real reason, suggests a person who has known McVey since her early TV career on children's TV, is that she auditioned for the popular TV show Rainbow and didn't make the grade.  'Ironic,' said one insider. 'Because she's working for Bungle these days.  Shame she can't take notes from Zippy.  Maybe that's why she failed the audition,' he added.


The Tories, including McVey, are expected to leave via the round, square and triangular windows later this year.




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