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Israel announced today that Yom Kippur, the traditional Jewish day of atonement, will this year be extended to a full week.
'Officially, of course, we don't feel we've done anything wrong,' said a government spokesman. 'Israel's just defending itself, all the innocent lives lost are no different from the civilian casualties when the Allies defeated Germany in World War Two, yada yada yada...
'But when it comes to religion, we have to be a bit more honest. We don't feel G*d would fall for that self-deluding bullshit, since after all no human beings have either.'
As well as adding an extra six days of atonement, Israel plans to add some new prayers to reflect the modern sins the country has committed in the last 12 months.
'Repentance for working on the Sabbath, or coveting our neighbour's ass, won't really cut it this year. We need prayers that say "Sorry about bombing that maternity hospital, but it did look a lot like a missile silo, honest."'
Image: Newsbiscuit Archive
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