top of page


In a surprise announcement on Tuesday afternoon, Sir Keir Starmer announced a defence budget increase to 2.5% of GDP by 2027. Critics have argued, however, that even with this increase Britain’s armed forces are still woefully inadequate.


Sir Keir commenting on the criticism said, “I know some people have said the increase in the defence budget is not going to be enough but let me tell you, I would like to see the look on Putin’s soldiers faces when they see our armed forces coming at them armed with a sharp stick that could have someone’s eye out, a strongly worded lawyers letter, or a bold stare.”


He went on “The US might have the defence budget to create genetically modified elite soldiers, but we will have enough money to genetically resurrect Clive Dunn. Just think, if Russian armour pours into a Ukraine they will have to contend with Jones’s butcher’s van. I know which side I’d rather be on.”


image from pixabay



A former Iceberg has sent a legal "cease and desist" letter to Captain Edward John Smith demanding he stop saying it 'sank the Titanic.'


Its lawyers argue the claim made repeatedly by the seafarer is 'false and defamatory', and harmed it in its journey south from the North Pole, eventually causing it to melt.


The Captain's spokesman suggested the iceberg should also write to 'hundreds of people who lost their lives' and the millions who have had to endure that bloody song by Celine Dion.


Picture credit: Wix AI



bottom of page