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Lawyers specialising in covid-19 restrictions have confirmed that the intention to eat, or the actual activity of eating during lockdown should be an indictable offence, and persons in authority who ate during lockdown should consider their positions 'while resigning on the spot'.
'The fact that some people sought to survive at the end of a working day while most of the country was forced to eat on Zoom is demeaning to the NHS, and whoever else was involved in covid,' said a lawyer today.
'I mean, curry? Really? And beer, what was the man thinking of? He could easily have retired to his hotel room hungry and thirsty, but no, he had to have something to eat. He didn't even have the decency to bring his own bottle, a karaoke machine, or pour drinks for everyone. Leading the conga would have been reasonable, but eating?'
The lawyer stated that his intention to represent the Conservatives as a candidate at the next election has had no influence upon his legal evaluation.
Image from Pixabay by wal_172619
The government has today expressed serious concerns about P&O boss Peter Hebblethwaite 'knowingly breaking the law.
'People in authority shouldn't assume the laws of the land don't apply to them if they are inconvenient,' said a government spokesperson. 'They have to understand, we're all in this together. Laws are made so that they all apply to to everyone, regardless of their status, wealth or standing in the community.'
The spokesperson agreed that someone knowing breaking the laws should resign 'immediately'. When asked if that statement applied to government ministers, special advisors and senior Civil Servants the spokesperson appeared to have a coughing fit and hasn't been seen since. We'll bring you the rest of this news story as soon as Hell freezes over, or Sue Gray's report gets published, whichever is the soonest.
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