Larry does his bit

Downing Street cat fury at "not given chance" of being PM

Larry, the Downing Street cat, has taken to social media to express his fury at f̶o̶r̶m̶e̶r̶ p̶r̶i̶m̶e̶-̶m̶i̶n̶i̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ (too early, Ed) Rishi Sunak saying that the next prime-minister would either be Rishi Sunak or Keir Starmer. 

"What about me?", meowed Mr the Cat on the cat social media channel, "litter.com", "You could do a lot worse. A lot."

Image: JimBear - Pixabay

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Larry the cat resigns because he can't afford to pay his mortgage

Larry the cat has resigned from his £118K job as Government Chief Mouser saying that his mortgage was now costing him £2,000 per month, leaving him just £4,100 per month to live on after tax.

'It’s utterly ridiculous to expect a cat, even a skinny one to be able to live on that sort of money; and I don’t have kittens to send to a public school, so goodness knows how cats with kittens to support are expected to manage,' he said.

A spokescatlover for a feline charity told Newsbiscuit that the special appeal for Larry has already raised £5m and since this is similar to the salaries ex-government ministers are able to supplement their MP’s salaries with by taking second jobs working for sanctioned Russian oligarchs, she’s optimistic he will now be able to live with the dignity to which he has become accustomed.

Larry refused to comment on what he’d been spending the remaining £4,100 of his monthly income on, but a friend assured us it isn’t drugs or brothels.

Photo by Eric Han on Unsplash