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For those frequent State Visit clients, why not upgrade your experience to create unforgettable memories in a haven of refined elegance and sycophantic obedience?
Buckingham Palace invites you to submerge yourself in unparalleled luxury with a total absence of legal scrutiny. Indulge in personalized service, with a bespoke state banquet catered by a cornucopia of American fast-food outlets.
Play a round of golf at one of the many elitist courses that can be segregated in all manner of different ways at your request. Includes 24-hour use of the Royal Ball Washer.
One journalist can be picked by the client and sent to the Tower of London. Hilarity will ensue.
Meet with likeminded individuals to discuss private islands and removing names from flight logs to your hearts content.
You will spend time with King Charles version 3.0, maybe not as humorous as his grandfather, but still highly skilled in inane flattery and feigned interest.
The Royal Carriage will have improved suspension to allow for an increased weight capacity and will now include a plethora of hand stitched leather cup holders.
A special inspection of the guard of honour is available, all soldiers will be tested to ensure that they remain professional with a loaded firearm so close to your vicinity. If you would like ammunition removed and for them to use rubber bayonets, this can be accommodated for.
This week only, a complementary extra-long tie with ermine finish.
UK selling King to raise emergency cash for much needed night out, and also with view to saving money by dropping Kingdom part of name.
High mileage. Non-runner. Needs work. Battery not included.
Full service history. See complete, multiple-duplicated Daily Express records. Some photos may have been augmented.
Comes with second-hand Queen for free. Ideal for anyone looking to complete part of broken up set. Those seeking 1980s-style Princess will be disappointed.
No obligation to take on costly responsibilities of piss-artist formerly known as Prince.
Will consider trade-in for Canadian Prime Minister.
No time wasters.
Image: WixAI
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