top of page

In what is seen as Labour’s potential first misstep, Sir Keir Starmer has released a 2024 calendar with a series of risqué and provocative poses. The move, as Labour HQ has announced, is to capture the “thirsty” vote.


'For too long has there been a distinct lack of sexiness in Downing Street,' said Mr Starmer at a press conference dressed in a leather trousers, jacket, cowboy boots and no shirt. 'Cameron, May, Johnson, Truss, Sunak hold nothing to my…..majority.' He thrust his crotch suggestively to the photographers nearby.


The calendar shows a bold new direction with images such as January showing Mr Starmer riding a horse seemingly naked and March portraying him in a Doctor’s white coat pulled up to reveal his bare bottom. The latter is thought to be his tribute to the NHS. June sees him lying sideways across a judge's desk in a courtroom with a gavel in a suggestive place.


Labour say that the calendars are flying off the shelves. Feedback is coming back that some people are very much looking forward to December 2024 not only for the potential general election but also for Mr Starmer’s appearance as a naked Santa Claus with only a present sack to cover his dignity.



Boris Johnson has issued a statement that after the result of the vote of no confidence, the Conservative Party will "definitely" draw a line in the sand and unite.


"I'm completely confident that this time the party will unite", said a shaking Boris Johnson, "Yes, the referendum caused slight differences of opinion to emerge. And the immediate resignation of the prime minister straight afterwards and months of clueless dithering may have led a tiny amount of instability. Yes, I have to hold my hands up to a tiny amount of plotting against Theresa May, but if I didn't do that, I wouldn't be prime-minister now - so that's a positive. However, now that over half the party has back me, we can put divisions behind us."


Jeremy Hunt has strongly disagreed.


Image from pixabay



In a surprise vote, 41% of Tory MPs tried to oust him - surprising that it was so low. The 1922 committee explained: 'In a vote of no confidence, all those who had no confidence in him before, still have no confidence in him - but this time with sprinkles on top.


'And 48% voted against his leadership in 2019, which means 7% of these f$ckwits now think he's got better with age!'


image from pixabay

bottom of page