Senior Management Roles in US Government – jobs suddenly available

Senior management vacancies - suddenly available right now (various locations, all in the US)

Re-numeration: 80,000 – 120,000 Meme Coin - minus benefits

Hours: Yes

Suitable for angry, scared and resentful individuals who don’t waste time on critical thinking. This role will provide plenty of opportunities for revenge and power trips. You will be told exactly what to say and will be provided resources to conduct your own research on.

Required skills:

• Being Male (At birth and currently)

• If you are non-Caucasian or non-straight, or even, worst case, a woman, then you must make up for that in advanced anger skills and cutting-edge hypocrisy

• Preferred social media must be Truth Social or X (Referring to this as Twitter is immediate rejection)

• Xenophobia an advantage, even if you don't fully know what that means

• Must be a True Patriot - provide supporting convictions and how far you got on Jan 6th 2021

• Must have over 88,000 online followers, 90% of which can be bots

• Ownership of a high-end podcast microphone is preferred along with a wall mounted firearm which is to be visible in all video conference calls.

In your job application, include your aims in a twelve-word phrase or four word slogan

Picture credit: WIX AI + deskpilot

BBC welcomes exciting new bureaucrat to replace boring old bureaucrat

'We are delighted to welcome a new person dressed in a trouser suit to the ridiculously overpaid post of Chief Content Officer,' said a BBC spokes-minion, addressing virtually no one in a press briefing room at New Broadcasting House.

'Her job will be to sit in meeting rooms and nibble biscuits while saying 'Ooh, I quite like that' every time someone suggests a really rather tired and derivative programme idea - adding the words 'let's discuss that at another 120 meetings'.

'This is a vital post to fill,' the spokes-drone continued, 'following the departure of our last, vastly overpaid, Chief Content Suit, Charlotte Any-Moore-Biscuits. You'd probably never heard of her, but she was a key corporate apparatchik who sat in meetings about a whole range of really seminal BBC programmes - which most of you never watched.'

At this point, an empty red trouser suit strode purposefully to the dais and said: 'In this role I am determined to optimise output variables by benchmarking key targets for our content performance with new and flexible benchmarks which you can operate horizontally, vertically or even turn upside down - with all our future programmes being sprinkled with new, cutting-edge AI dross.

'Do I watch TV myself?' said the suit, replying to a mumbled question from a bored reporter. 'Not really. There's so little worth watching nowadays. Don't you agree?' 

Picture credit: Wix AI

Roll up to see the amazing freak show! A man with two faces!