Hunt ensures smoke-free generation is also triple-lock-pension-free generation

Chancellor of the Exchequer and spouse to someone Chinese or Japanese, Jeremy Hunt, has now muddled up his generations as well as the nationality of someone he married.

Young voter, Frank Woth explained, 'What he wanted to do was triple lock my granny right up. What he has actually done is bang the last nail in the coffin of the smoke-free generation, ensuring it will also be the pension-free generation.

'Rishi Sunak's Artificial Intelligence plan will mean that mum and dad and most of their generation will be out of their jobs by next year. Which is an interesting way to make work pay.

'So with no income tax or national insurance to cover granny's pension pegged to sky-rocketing inflation as corporate directors stretch their last profit margins past breaking point.'

'The rest of us will be able to huddle together homelessly in a hole where the NHS used to be and watch the fossil fuel extractors fight over the last penny in the taxpayer pot.'

Image: https://stablediffusionweb.com/

Chancellor’s ingenious plan to ‘get Britain moving’

The Chancellor has found an ingenious way to instantly boost the economy by 10% at virtually no cost. This is achieved by raising all 20mph speed limits by 10%, to 22mph. This bold and innovative move will speed up the movement of supplies to factories, finished products to shops, and will speed up consumers’ journeys to and from the shops. Indeed, all economic sectors will benefit.

Economists agree that the move will definitely boost productivity – but probably not by a full 10% as some speed limits will remain unchanged. Experts are forecasting the actual boost to be between 0.003% and 8.191919%. Tory strategists believe that the new policy will be particularly popular in Wales and will lessen enthusiasm for Welsh independence.

The Labour Party was wrong-footed by this innovative plan and could only mutter about increasing road casualties, as 22mph impacts are slightly more serious than crashes at 20mph. Labour have not ruled out reversing the policy after the next election. George Galloway has complained that the initiative ‘does nothing for Gaza’.

Photo by Julian Hochgesang on Unsplash

Jeremy Hunt turns a corner