The entire adult population of the UK is still in the running for both iconic roles, all with the necessary acting talent, all except for James Corden.
The fact that anyone could be considered, is a tribute to diversity casting but also a comment on how sh$t Idris Elba’s agent is. Asked about the millions listed, one Producer said: ‘That’s slightly shorter than an NHS waiting list’.
The Conservative party has announced that it intends to replace Boris Johnson with a life-sized cardboard cut out of Roger Moore.
"It's what the voters want," said a high level politician today, "gravitas, stillness - a sense of purpose. In these respects and others, a life-sized cardboard cut out of Roger Moore will fare far better than Johnson."
The cut out will be pre-loaded with a set of quips. These will include: "Keeping the British end up, Sir", "Sheer magnetism, darling" and "There's no sense in going off half-cocked". The makers are confident that these three alone should be sufficient to answer any political question with much more sense than the Prime Minister can currently muster.
Other parties are keeping a close eye on the experiment, with the SNP having already purchased exclusive rights to the use of a cardboard cut out Sean Connery, and labour eyeing either a cardboard George Lazenby, or, failing that, just some cardboard.
