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The government has been accused of lacking compassion after thousands of scroats have unexpectedly been released early from prison to make way for Nigel Farage and Tommy Robinson’s rioting mates.
'We thought we'd seen the back of him for long enough to turn our lives around" a Mrs Grout told Newsbiscuit "But the kids have only just got used to their latest dad; and he'll get told to sling his hook sharpish, when the original one comes home.'
More prisoners are expected to be released when the Post Office and Covid Inquiry reports are published to find room for the Tory Party and its corrupt mates.
Social workers however, are warning of potential problems prison workers' families may face after wardens have to spend their days in the company of these dregs of humanity, with no way to vent their anger before they return home.
A suggestion that wardens’ families could be provided with a cat for wardens to kick has been met with outrage by felinists.
After Donald 'Guilty AF' Trump rattles off a bit more crime, the rest of the population sighs and has a look at the vast array of evidence. This crime was apparently committed during a live streaming event with a known rapist influencer. Many journalists watched and videoed the law-breaking which involved the twice impeached former president holding a copy of today’s newspaper. Most of his family (not Melania) stood behind him, cheering the criminal activities on and writing about it in detail on their chosen methods of social media.
Later in the day, the convicted felon was handing out signed confessions to his followers and selling a commentative 'I did this crime' coin. An NFT of the crime is available for a limited time only. The hundreds of Police officers who watched the crime mostly had their cameras turned off or lost the footage due to an unexpected software update. The Secret Service crime assistants have recorded this event in exact detail for their upcoming autobiographies but currently were unsure of the facts.
Donald Trump has already released a song with Kid Rock called 'I love committing crime' which is already number one in the confession charts. His latest autobiography called 'I definitely did it' is to be released before the election with a prewritten forward from the late OJ Simpson.
It a statement on his own personal social network, Donald Trump has said 'It’s a scam' and therefore no further action will be taken.
Image: Wix AI
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