Showbiz world stunned as Ant & Dec hand back their latest NTA award

Showbiz has been left reeling following news lovable Geordies Ant and Dec have handed back their 22nd consecutive Best TV Presenter award.

Fans are said to be devastated with hashtag #AntandDecAlwaysWinBestTVPresenterAwardItsTheLaw trending all day on social media sites, while Samaritans report a massive increase in calls to its national helpline.

To add insult to injury, Ant, or it might have been Dec, we’re not sure said: ‘Thawz nie kudos left in it, bonny lad. Even we're embarrassed by having won the bloody thing every year. Well noo, leik, we just cannat be awsed nie maw. And if wor fans durn’t leik it th'ill just have to haddaway an’ shite.’

Catchphrase presenter Stephen Mulhern is understood to have now replaced the boys in the category; not for anything specific. It’s just that he somehow manages to look the dead spit of Ant and Dec rolled into one person. A move NTA big wigs hope might keep the public happy.

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'We had affairs with women and we got promotions' say straight ITV presenters

'Our top story 12 days in a row is about a gay man having gay sex with a gay,' said a Daily Mail journalist who had 16 affairs with girls and f*cked a pig. 'It's the most important thing happening in Britain, and everybody must have my opinion on this scandalous scandal beaten into them until they're definitely not considering why it's OK for me to do the same thing and get away with it. And certainly not thinking about my spiffing chum screwing 200,000 people during the pandemic.'

'We all cheated on our wives with other women,' said 26 famous ITV presenters. 'And we all got a slap on the back and a pay rise. There are no double standards here. Everyone remembers why that girl was sacked from that kiddie's show, but that was different because she's a woman. You can't have famous lady presenters being unfaithful to their husbands, otherwise society would collapse. We now know for sure what's right or wrong, because we've been reading about it in the Daily Mail. If our half Indian colleague was unfaithful, for example, he should go back where he came from. And Luton is a terrible place.'

Senior ITV executive, William Trent Fairhead admitted, 'We have a very serious case where one of our famous presenters has not cheated on his wife with a young woman. If he doesn't shape up, we'll have to let him go. Just not to the BBC in the 1980s.'

Image: Sean Mungur (@seanmungurdp) | Unsplash Photo Community