Having not had a war for at least a fortnight, the public are suspicious that the US is itchy to drop some democracy bombs on Tehran. One 3-star general denied they were softening public opinion for an invasion: 'If the press want to criticise Iran, who are we to stop them? It was hard enough to write the story for them in the first place.
'Iran is just Iraq without the leukemia, but we can soon sort that out. It's awash with human rights abuses which we need to do something about and by human rights abuses, we mean oil fields.'
He refuted the claim that WWIII is one sequel too far. 'Iran is militarising the Middle East and promoting genocide and- no wait...hold on...sorry, wrong page, that was our mission statement.'