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The WWF have rated Palestinian survival on par with the Dodo and Prince Andrew's career as a Girl Guide protection officer. Sightings of a healthy Palestinian child are now as rare as a Starmer promise kept or a Sunak interview that does not make you cringe so hard, your sphincter implodes.
Almost hunted out of existance, the last remaining Palestinians want to fight back, but they could only get advice from grouse. Sadly, poachers and IDF pose with their grisly trophy kills and Joe Biden uses ground-up Palestinian as a cure for dementia and erectile disfunction.
Wild life experts predict the last Palestinian will die by Christmas, which in when turkeys usually get stuffed. A Netanyahu spokesman offered a solution: 'We could try putting them in some sort of Zoo? Put a wall around it, control their access to food and drink. Allow breeding in captivity, that sort of thing. Generally, treat them like animals. What do you mean, we've already tried that?'
Following the killing of seven Brits and Americans working for World Central Kitchen in Gaza, western leaders have reminded Netanyahu that our people are not to be treated like Arabs.
”We’re mad as hell,” said a White House spokesman today. “And I don’t mean in a vague ‘ideally could you stop doing this’ kinda way, like when you kill 30,000 Arabs. I mean genuinely pissed.”
”Quite right,” added a spokesman for 10 Downing Street. “It’s just not on to treat the British this way. Especially when they’re really British, not just people we have to call British to avoid being hauled up in front of some committee.
”Though ideally don’t kill them either, or we’d probably be obliged to go through the motions of making a fuss.”
The spokesman also commented that he entirely understood the desperate situation of Gazans facing a disastrous famine, as he once arrived for a late supper at Rules to find they were out of the Chateaubriand.
Image: 12019 - Pixabay
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