top of page
Search
Ever since featuring in ‘I’m a Celebrity’ last year, reports indicate that Matt Hancock never left the Australian jungle featured in the hit reality series, but is instead living as a wild mammal in the local ecosystem. Ahead of the upcoming season, the filmmakers returned to scout new filming locations when they stumbled across the former Health Secretary living wild with a colony of koalas. Speaking to press, a bewildered producer described the bizarre encounter:
‘It was a real shock to be honest with you. Our boom operator found him clinging tightly to a tree, fast asleep and half naked. He had made himself a hair-piece out of twigs and leaves which a few birds had made a nest in. We all thought he made it safely back to the UK last year, but I suppose no-one had really thought of him very much.’
After waking, he treated the film crew as a threat and is said to have uttered a noise similar to the word ‘Farage’ before scarpering off on all fours. A local Koala expert provided additional context to how Matt Hancock may have found himself here:
‘Koalas are notoriously languid creatures, preferring to sleep most of the day than engage with one another. When they are awake, they are known to dribble urine and make slow grunting noises. If Matt Hancock was to display any of this behaviour in the presence of a Koala population, they may just accept him as one of their own.’
As a result of the remarkable discovery, ITV has released plans to make Hancock’s new living conditions a post-show requirement for any politicians looking to appear on the show, beginning with Nigel Farage’s debut on Sunday.
As anticipation mounts for Nigel Farage's appearance the hit TV show 'I'm a celebrity, get me out of here', Mr Farage has, prior to his formal entrance, launched his "Jungxit" campaign.
A source close to Mr. Farage reported Nigel saying: "Whilst we may have had it all our own way in this Jungle paradise, clearly now is the time to respect Australia's borders and beat a retreat to dear old blighty." He went on, "I mean, we come over here, invade their jungles, use up their precious commodities of kangaroo testicles and wallaby spleens where we could be feasting on Badger ears and wren's livers without this senseless and grotesque emigration."
Mr. Farage also berated the cost of travel, explaining that it could have on top of his fee and then a proportion paid in taxes to the poor and unfortunate in England.
It is thought he will seek a camp referendum within the first five days of being in camp and hopes to be out of the jungle within 4 years.
bottom of page