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An innovative board game is expected to outsell all other board games in this year’s run up to Christmas.

Each player is given a number of cards, each bearing a picture of a cabinet minister. They are also given cards bearing the names of Tory donors.

Unlike Monopoly, where the aim is to win the most money by buying up all the property and extorting rent on it, the aim of De-Monopolise is to have cabinet ministers removed from office and get donors sent to jail.


As with Monopoly, the game involves random factors like dice throws and chance cards saying thing like “The European Court of Human Rights has blocked your intention to send asylum seekers to Rwanda” and “Your failure to properly declare your tax liability” renders the player liable to take another cabinet minister card.


The winner is the first player to lose all their cabinet ministers and have the crooks who donate to party funds jailed.


image from pixabay




Suella Braverman is briefly pivoting away from abusing refugees and curtailing human rights in order to give a speech about abusing refugees and curtailing human rights. A leaked draft made extensive use of air quotes, screeching 'You say "basic human rights", I say "potato". You say "refugee fleeing persecution for being gay", I say "tomato". The point is let’s call the whole thing off.' 'You want human rights? You can't handle human rights. If you can’t arbitrarily beat up and imprison your political opponents, what’s the point? If you want a fair trial, it means you're guilty!' Tory intern Henry Hootington-Hurst added 'Leaving the ECHR would put the UK alongside Belarus and Russia - countries Suella clearly wishes to emulate. It contains the two things Tories fear most: human rights and Europe.'




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