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The NHS has announced that there are no more hospitals available for Boris Johnson to visit.
"We understand this is a difficult time for the prime-minister, so it makes sense for him to be photographed in non-controversial settings.", said an NHS spokesman, "But with last week's visit to Milton Keynes hospital, he's now been to all of them and unless he starts again, he's a bit stuck."
It's understood that Downing Street is putting pressure on the Health Secretary, Sajid Javid, to build new hospitals.
"Unfortunately, building real hospitals takes time, originally the government planned on building fantasy hospitals - which is much quicker and easier and, may I say, cheaper.", explained Mr Javid, "However, as they only exist in the mind of the Prime-Minister, it rather difficult for him to visit them. Of course, with hindsight, it seems obvious we'd need some kind of distraction around now."
Plans have been announced for alternative visits, but a Downing Street spokesman admitted the options were a bit limited:
"Obviously, party supply shops and pubs are right out. We did have a visit to a brewery on the schedule, but unfortunately, the prime-minister wrote down the wrong date, time and location. Visits to military locations are usually fairly safe, but with the current mood in the country, keeping Mr Johnson away from people with guns seems wisest."
Image: Aviavlad | Pixabay
Updated: Nov 27, 2021
Doctors and nurses have been shocked to discover the PM's 'jolly' elbow bumps were all part of an elaborate mating ritual. Throughout the Covid crisis, Mr. Johnson has been trying to fertilise the nation, one Hospital at a time.
Supposed photo opportunities, were just an excuse to rub elbows and spread his Midwich seed. Complained one health professional: 'He didn't wear a mask or any other form of protection. And what about STD's? Clap for nurses takes on a whole different meaning.'
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