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Mohamed Mansour has criticised the delay between giving £5 million to the Tory party and receiving his knighthood.
A spokesman said 'For £5 million, he could have bought his way to the top of several NHS waiting lists and fed some poor children and still had enough left over to make Nigel Farage say "Up the 'Ra" on Cameo again.
'Amazon prime can deliver a chicken harness on the same day, so why can't this government dispatch a royal with a sword in a couple of weeks?'
Now that Paula Vennells has agreed to return her CBE, the public has got the bit between its teeth.
'There are loads of honours that aren't deserved, just handed out like sweeties to their mates,' said a public who asked not to be named. 'We've got what we wanted from Paula Vennells. Now we want all the useless twats that got honours from Liz Truss to hand those back too - in recognition of the pain and distress caused by Liz Truss and reign of error. I mean, terror. No, actually, error works fine.'
'The list is just embarrassing. Three life peerages, a KBE and two DBEs, two CBEs, two OBEs and an MBE. That's just mad. The only one that looks sensible in the whole damn lot is the DBE for Shirley Conran, for founding the Maths Anxiety Trust. That's as close to an apology as we are going to get from Liz Truss.'
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