When will this holiday end, screams parent into the void

Just when you thought this summer holiday could not get any longer, it turns out there is still a week of unrelenting madness left. Parents up and down the land are reaching for the prozac and the adoption papers. We are now down to the last shreds of dignity and the start of a potential murder hunt.

'I love my children, just not enough to actually spend any time with them,' explained one twitching father. 'I'd booked myself a nice, relaxing holiday and then these little f$ckers just turned up. What next? I have to feed them?'

Ironically children are lamenting their last week of freedom, with many aware this is their last chance to wear the same pair of socks six weeks in a row. Said one kid. 'It's the best time of your life, if you ignore all the crying adults.'

Image:Pixabay/yogendras31

Brits undeterred by fake beach warning signs in Spain

Enquiry launched as someone parking at airport doesn't leave with his eyes watering

Managers in charge of parking at Stansted Airport have ordered an urgent enquiry into the parking system at the airport.

'Mugs, er I mean, customers, think that the video cameras are there for number plate recognition, but they also monitor the faces of drivers to see their expressions when the the double digit fee for parking for 20 minutes appears. We often watch that just for the LOLs. However, we were amazed when one driver merely held up his debit card and smiled.'

photo: https://pixabay.com/users/652234-652234/