6th cent. BC. Buddha gets idea for reincarnation while visiting recycling centre.
33 AD. Jesus crucified, asks to be buried with 10kg of self-raising flour.
c. 150 AD. Ptolemy proves world is round. Shops that sold models of Earth now calling them "frisbees".
1450. Renaissance pauses for half-time break so people can clear backlog of witches and heretics to be burned.
1453. Guinness Book of Records congratulates England and France on completing Hundred Years' War.
1560. Nostradamus correctly predicts the Trump presidencies, but realises they are just too far-fetched for publication
1707. Act of Union - apparently. Scotland wakes up in bed beside England with huge hangover and no idea how it got there.
1842. Victorian society is shocked by the first Pirelli calendar, which features pictures of pianos with particularly attractive legs
1854. Alfred Tennyson in secret talks with Light Brigade: 'You provide the charge and I'll provide the poem.'
1901. Death of Queen Victoria sparks constitutional crisis as King Edward too fat to fit on stamp.
1919. Humiliating peace terms for WWI losers at Versailles, whereby Britain allowed to make one 12-part sitcom per year about beating Germany.
Includes contributions from FlashArry and deskpilot
Photo credit stockcake: museum-dinosaur-exhibit_262824_51875
