The billionaire owner of the social media site previously known as Prince, has decided to offer swing state voters $1m to overlook Trump's combover. Lobbyists are furious that he has undermined democracy, as that was their job: 'He's doing it all wrong, you're supposed to bribe the politicians. If we start bribing the voters, they might actually benefit for once.' When asked, most voters took a jaundiced view of the election: 'It's all a scam, but at least this way we get a cut.'
The $1m lottery means there is a remote chance of voters getting rich, as opposed to when Trump gets elected, where there is zero chance. Under American election law it is illegal to pay for votes, although ironically American voters have been paying for theirs for the last 200 years.
By contrast, Harris has refused to bribe voters with anything they might want. Her spokeswoman insisted: 'There's no need for lobbyists to pay voters - when politicians are so cheap.'
Photo by Rosie Kerr on Unsplash
