‘By rights, Narnia is American, wherever it is,’ President Trump told reporters yesterday. ‘A lot of people have never ever heard of this place, but it’s strategically important. By the way talking about ‘never ever’, I have my people looking into the little known region of Never Neverland, which is rich in precious minerals and ruled by pirates, probably Muslim, so according to my WhatsApp we’ll be sending reconnaissance forces to bomb the hell out of them, but that’s top secret at the moment, so any scumbag journalists in this press briefing, report that if you dare.’
He continued ‘On the Narnia thing, we understand they control their borders through a city called Wardrobe, or Warsaw or some such, and the disturbing thing is it’s a place where they lure children for goodness knows what perverted commie practices. There’s talk of witches so I don’t need to say any more. We’re looking at other little-known lands which by rights belong to the USA. For example if there’s a Greenland there’s probably a Blueland and maybe a Yellowland, we shall see. And there’s a tiny country called Lilliput, so small it doesn’t appear on a map, if you can believe that.
Image: b_forestsmith - Pixabay
