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NewsBiscuit Grand National form guide



With the big race taking place this Saturday here's NewsBiscuit's annual guide to the no hopers and dead certs.

 

KeepmyWifesNameOutYoMouth - caused a genuine shock when quick out of his stall at the Hollywood Stakes a couple of weeks ago, easily beating Rock's Rib Tickler. Stewards still looking at excessive use of the hand. Form over recent years a bit erratic - particularly in Bad Boys 2. 6-1

 

Nothing From Rishi - disappointed millions with a poor showing in the Budget Handicap last week. Claimed to be hampered and boxed in by Lockdown Spending. Housewife's favourite a couple of years ago, but those winning performances at the Furlough Festival now seem like a distant memory. 25-1

 

You're my Nom Dom - stable partner of Nothing from Rishi. This thoroughbred was sired out of InfoSys. Lifetime winnings of over £400 million so far, although this falls to £399.9 million after tax. Prefers the more generous terrain of the Cayman Islands than Aintree. 5-2

 

Bojos Mojo - generally poorly groomed with a distinctive white mane, hasn't put in a credible performance for some time. Prefers stud work but establishing all his bloodlines has proved to be a challenge.

 

Let Sue Gray Do her Work - had plenty of outings earlier this year but noticeably quiet over recent weeks. Asked some questions of Bojos Mojo but seems unlikely to deliver what punters are hoping for. 10-1 (is the time one of the Downing Street Parties started - bring your own booze).

 

Putin's Folly - likes to try and dictate the pace - and everything else - but the best days are behind him. Recent outings in Ukraine have been ill-judged and has encountered a tougher contest than expected. Thought to be involved in doping scandals at Salisbury, amongst other places. 33-1

 

Sleepy Joe B - popular victor over MakeAmericaGreatAgain last year but form is now unpredictable and erratic. Often starts well but stumbles over small hurdles and looks ready for the knackers yard.


4 For Sale - fiercely independent, with many triumphs in a 40-year history, including wins at Brookside, Countdown, Big Brother and errrr…Naked Attraction. Current trainer Nadine Dorries says the horse needs to now compete in a different class, but insiders say sell-off may be revenge for news coverage that is often straight from the horse's mouth and critical of the government. 15-1 is another (old) favourite

 

P and O Shitshow - outcry recently after owners tried to replace jockey with a cheaper agency rider citing high labour costs in UK. Unrepentant in stewards committee and owners have said they would put the horse in a glue factory tomorrow if the price was right. 50-1. Avoid.


Kwasi's Kopout - trainer says this late entry is full of energy, but talk that he can run like the wind looks likely to be just hot air. Looks like he needs some TLC, but the stable won't even pay for a blanket in his stall. Likes the going wet to radioactive. 25/1


Foo Fighter - withdrawn owing to unforeseen circumstances.


Partygate - much prefers a mid-week run out after feeling a tad woozy following Wine Fridays. Subject of multiple steward's enquiries. Likely to break all the rules during the race and will deny everything in the paddock. 47,000/1



Contributions from Sir Lupus and O'Shaughnessy



First published 9 April 22



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Grand National 2025 - your Newsbiscuit guide to the runners and riders



It's unpredictable, dangerous, and watched open-mouthed by billions around the globe as the carnage unfolds. Nope, not Donald Trump's second presidential term, but the Grand National. Who is your money on this year and with more fences than a New York mobster to navigate,  will your pick end up safely back in the paddock or the glue factory?  Here's Newsbiscuit's annual guide to the runners and riders: 


Trumpy's Tariffs - notoriously volatile performer wearing distinctive orange colours of her owner. Had some stablemates but owner now insisting they carry an extra 34%, 20% or 10% of weight on their back after claims of looting, pillaging, raping and plundering of his stables for many years. Anything is possible from this absolute mare. Odds 10-1 to 34-1 (bizarrely rising to 46-1 for Vietnamese betters). 


Call me Keir - promised much after a 158-length victory in the glorious sunshine of the Westminster Hurdles last July. Has struggled to find top form since, however. Appears uncomfortable leading from the front, and has made major errors in the Winter Fuel Payments Chase, and Welfare Cuts Stakes. Trumpy's Tariffs stole a march on him in most recent outing leaving him struggling to respond apart from calling for 'cool and calm heads. Seems to like softer ground. 5-1


Reeves Robotic Recital - increasingly gloomy performances over recent months. Trainer and owners have sought to downgrade expectations with most recent statement in March offering little optimism. Has faced questions about alleged exaggeration of past racing experience. May be wearing a £7,500 saddle and reins, kindly gifted by a friend. Possibly last outing for this faltering filly  2-1 (just hearing that this has been cut to evens in the Spring Statement by the OBR)  


Just Say Thank You- front runner, always ridden aggressively by jockey JD Vance. Seems determined to Make Everyone Grate Again after recent fiery televised Oval Office Stakes, teaming up with Trumpy's Tariffs to unfairly hinder Volydymyr's Pride.   50-1


PGCE Three - unfairly barred from a 2 horse boat race this weekend, after owners of Oxford Blue complained about pedigree and breeding of this Cambridge horse. Will try its' luck at Aintree now, before heading off to face bigger hurdles in the classrooms of primary and secondary schools across the country. 10-1


Rashford's Revenge - has done nothing for a year, after trainer placed him in exile and entered his 63 year old goalkeeping coach into races instead. Yet since a move to the Midlands this classy horse has hit some form.  Return to Manchester may depend on his trainer eating some humble pie, which seems highly unlikely. 5-1 (Fans) Favourite


Roll with It - coming out of retirement for a farewell 2025 set of races to include Wembley, Cardiff and Heaton Park. Always a feisty performer, and good to watch, even at £300 for a standing ticket. But unclear whether one of both of the horses' jockeys Liam and Noel will last the distance. Internal feuding, cigarettes and alcohol may have affected this horses' ability to perform. Best days may be Half a World Away so punters may need to wait to put the Champagne (Supernova) on ice. 66-1  


Davey's Stunts - enjoying a revival in fortunes, but appeal remains limited by its steadfast insistence on holding the centre ground. Increasingly wacky training regime, with horse regularly appearing at theme parks and funfairs, always accompanied by TV cameras. Nearly came a cropper at one such event riding down a waterpark slide when a couple of hairy policy announcements almost slipped out of the side of his trunks. 72 (MPs) - 1


Musk do Better - first outing for this tempestuous horse since the Inauguration Stakes at the White House in January, when cautioned after allegedly raising a fetlock in a Nazi salute just past the finishing line.  10-1 



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