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500 arrests after protest in support of Manchester City Fan Action, report police

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Five hundred people have been arrested in London after police said they were responding to a protest in support of the banned group Manchester City Fan Action. Pictures from the Westminster demonstration showed a group holding placards reading "I oppose offside, I support Manchester City Fan Action".


As of Saturday, the group is proscribed under the Terrorism Act 2000, after lawyers acting on its behalf failed with a court bid to block the ban. The designation means being a member of, or showing support for Manchester City Fan Action, is a criminal offence and could lead to up to 14 years in prison.


The government moved to ban Manchester City Fan Action after an estimated £7k of damage was caused to seats at an away match last month. Lex Morrells KC, barrister for Manchester City Fan Action's co-founder Arfur Brain, told the High Court court banning the group would be "ill-considered" and an "authoritarian abuse" of power.


Defending the organisation's proscription, the home secretary stressed it was "not a non-violent organisation". She said tens of thousands protested lawfully about the "horrendous playing" in football matches without involving Manchester City Fan Action. She said that some supporters of Manchester City "don't know the full nature" of the group.




Action Man to become a proscribed organisation


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A spokesman for Hasbro has confirmed the UK government has proscribed Action Man.  'Apparently they are proscribing anything with Action in the title.  Also because we did release a figure with a tea towel for a head covering recently,' he said.  'Probably a coincidence.'


A government spokesman said, 'We are engaging in each and any way to protest using the word Action.  Don't even try writing "Action. Man" either, we're well wise to that.  We have acted quickly to ensure any threat from Action Man is neutered.


A spokeswoman for Barbie commented, 'Neutered  Have you ever looked under his shorts?'


Photo by Thuận Minh on Unsplash

Maxwell offered immunity on condition she doesn't give evidence

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In a plea deal thought to be the first of its kind, Ghislaine Maxwell has been offered immunity from prosecution on condition she doesn't turn states evidence and tell the justice department everything she knows.


"Sure, it's kind of unusual," admitted US Justice Secretary Tommy Fratboy, a recent appointment of President Trump. "It's more common to offer minor criminals immunity in return for their testimony against kingpins. It's in the public interest to catch the big fish, even if it means letting the little fish go.


"But in this case... er... look, the whole Epstein thing is such old news, why are people still obsessing about it? Seriously, there's so much going on that's more interesting. Have you seen the new season of the Kardashians? That Kylie Jenner sure is hot! And then there's sport - how 'bout dem Cowboys?"


He added that he'd certainly never been to Epstein's island himself, if Epstein even had an island, which he couldn't confirm because he'd certainly never been there.


However, other senior government officials consider it risky to release Maxwell even under conditions which amount to a super injunction.


"We've been talking to our colleagues in Britain, who say there's somewhere we can put her which guarantees she'll never be seen or heard from again."


Asked what it's called, the official said "Well, this might be a typo, but it says here it's called 'Mrs Brown's Boys'."


Image from pixabay


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