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Religious groups around the world have been hit as God has announced that from September, prayers would only be answered via 5G.
Even the Vatican has echoed the complaints; "5G service is quite patchy around here", said a disgruntled Pope, "I was close to negotiating world peace, an end to hunger and Donald Trump being sent prison when I realised there was no signal and only one request got received. So, fingers crossed.
- Sully
- Jun 1, 2023
In his first interview since the bestselling Ten Commandments, reclusive author God has issued clarification on the 9th Commandment.
‘Bearing false witness remains sinful, even on social media and even if the liar believes he has the moral high ground’, God told journalists.
‘This includes funny memes and made-up quotations which look as if they might have been the sort of thing which that person might have said.
‘Although if it’s for satirical effect that’s ok,' he added. ‘But if you intend people to believe in the content, repeat the message or use it as the basis for an online argument, you’re going to The Bad Place. As a rule of thumb avoid social media – if it’s worth saying, it’s worth carving into tablets of stone.'
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