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Following Asteroid 2023 BU passing within 2,200 miles of the Earth, one NASA astrophysicist hopes to engage in a bit of interplanetary snooker to make sure we are not so lucky next time.
'It's for the best.' confirmed Professor Vivienne van Voort. 'Human beings simply cannot be trusted. If Jacob Rees-Mogg becomes the new Lorraine Kelly it would be better to destroy all evidence that this planet ever existed.'
Hard-line conservatives have labelled the plan to destroy the Earth and kill all life as 'woke' and criticised it for being pro-immigration, with one knuckle dragger grunting 'Asteroids, coming over here, taking our apocalypses.'
The UK television channel GB News has been recognised by the RSPB for its socially aware and progressive programming policies. Indeed, it is now recognised as a major wildlife sanctuary, providing a refuge for severely damaged and potentially dangerous creatures.
"Most of the species we have welcomed and cared for have only got one wing. Their right, of course. But we are able to keep them confined and secure and give them a place where they feel at home. Listen to them chatter away! They're as happy as can be in here!"
An observer commented, "I think this is a wonderful facility. All these Swivel-Eyed Twites, Madus hatteris, captive in the one place. The m. hatteris Faragina, m. hatteris Cleesiensis and the m. hatteris Portillo. I'm especially keen to see the latest m. hatteris Reesmoggerus once it has settled in and found its perch."
Another bystander added an alternative benefit, "This is magnificent and I can't thank GB News enough. By attracting and containing all these Swivel-Eyed Twites I now know that there is only one channel I need to avoid instead of having them popping up all over the networks. That, in itself, makes it worth having this refuge for them."
Image: makamuki0 | Pixabay
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