Basking in reflected glory

In the library the Tories forgot to close

HS2 has 'no end in sight'? Surely some sort of platform would work?

The never-ending railway development, is set to last longer than re-runs of 'Friends'. Tracks continue to be laid for no other reason than they were there, a bit like Uni students at Fresher's Week.

An oversight by planners have seen the project overrun, literally, with tracks now covering three fifths of the Earth's surface. Confessed one contractor: 'We were supposed to terminate at Euston Station but instead we kept going. Currently we are somewhere near the Suez Canal and not one buffet cart in sight.

'At the other end, skipping Birmingham proved popular with our focus groups, but now we don't know where to stop. Wales is too wet and the Irish sea is...well, too wet.' Asked if she thought the project would be delayed further: 'The upside of a track that never ends, is there aren’t enough leaves to cover it’.