From the Newsbiscuit archives: the 1960s and '70s

1962: Thaw in East-West relations as Kennedy and Khrushchev bond over amazing 'Cuban Missile Armageddon' video game.

1966: Referee Neville Chamberlain disallows Geoff Hurst goal against Germany for sake of 'peace in our time'.

1966: Colour television introduced. Couch potatoes discover existence of red, green, blue.

1967: Six-Day War. Israeli soldiers go on strike for five-day wars.

1967: Summer of love and drugs. Mary Whitehouse warns latest Cliff Richard song 'written under influence of Nurofen'.

1969: Festival of Drugs, Mud and STDs a surprise success when rebranded as 'Woodstock'.

1969: 'One giant f*ckup for mankind', says Neil Armstrong as he lands on Mars by mistake.

1973: Queues of panicking customers form outside sex shops as baby-oil crisis kicks in.

1973: 'Britannia caduca est!' wails four-year-old Jacob Rees-Mogg on hearing Britain has joined EEC.

1977: King of Rock and Roll hires 300-pound Elvis impersonator to die and be buried in his place.

Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

Paula Vennells denies being Paula Vennells

Paula Vennells (if indeed that’s who it was) today told the Post Office Sub-postmasters Enquiry that she had no recollection of ever having been Paula Vennells.

'I’ve seen - sorry, I’ve now seen - business cards, comp slips, headed notepaper and so forth,' she admitted. 'I concede that someone named Paula Vennells was indeed in charge of the Post Office for some time.

'But to suggest that it was me? I have no recollection of that.'

She went on to say that she had no recollection of ever having posted or received a letter or bought a stamp, and that during the period in question, she was living in Nepal as a goat.

Image by Sharon Ang from Pixabay

Lazy weirdos overlooked by political parties

Layabout crackpots up and down the country are being 'ignored' by all the major political parties claimed Ron Jenkins of Clacton, speaking from his inflatable ostrich, Kevin, whilst waiting for cash in the attic to start.

'They always bang on about the ordinary, hard-working voter - what about weirdos?', said Mr Jenkins, speaking in Klingon.

Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay