With a rallying call, like a goose farting in the fog, Field Marshall Starmer summoned his EU counterparts. With a coalition of the whining, he pitched a four point plan, where all four points were 'hope Russia surrenders'. Reading from the back of a fag packet he quoted:
'Half a league, half a league -' As aide whispered something in his ear. 'Really? Six hundred miles to Moscow? Not half a league?' The aide shook his head. Starmer restarted. 'Into the valley of victory, with absolutely zero casualties - What, what is it now?' The aide whispered. 'What do you mean valley of death? Do you know nothing about optics? Don't interrupt. Now where was I? Into the valley of victory rode £6bn for money laundering purposes. Cannon to right of them, Cannon to left...hmm, are you sure this isn't a cover of Stealer's Wheel?'
image from pixabay