At a Downing Street briefing, the prime minister's spokesman insisted that the UK leaving the EU had "nothing to do" with Brexit.
"It's nonsense to associate the two completely separate events", said Mr Wilfullyblind, "Obviously, there are lots of problems associated with leaving the EU, but that's nothing to do with Brexit; that's still a brilliant idea."
image from pixabay
Among the less than bright MPs contending for the post of Prime Minister is one who imagines that after leaving the EU and taking back control, there remain EU laws that British people are being subjected to. Commentators who witnessed the applause the MP gave on every occasion Boris Johnson said he got Brexit done are asking if she's quite the full shilling.
We asked a government lawyer what these outstanding EU laws might possibly be and were told by the lawyer that having looked up how many EU laws apply to the UK now, the list was blanker than a bagful of blank things.
However there may be something the contender for the PM post noticed, but the lawyers missed, so we've invited the MP to explain what these mysterious laws might be; and why we should fear them. We promise to post the MP's reply as soon as it's received and have stationed staff 24/7 On communications duty, in anticipation of hearing the reply.
Government Minister and Bash Street softy, Jacob Rees-Mogg, has announced that all mobile phones sold in Britain will not only be coal fired but must all use the same coal scuttle with a standard volume of half a sack.
Mr Rees-Mogg explained more "The tiny island of the EU are trying to suppress the mobile telephone charger market by insisting on new fangled 'electrical' connection to provide horse power, British telephones should use British coal mined by British children and we can make things much easier for British mobile telephone makers - of which, I'm sure there are many, by setting a standard for scuttle size by 1824 (sic)."
