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Myke
Jan 24, 2023

Britain to be broken up and sold for parts



A spokesman for the business secretary, Grant Schnapps, has said he did ‘nothing wrong’ by selling the UK to a dodgy scrap dealer he met in a pub. The Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards has confirmed the arrangement was registered and is above board and hunky dory. Mr Schnapps said he chose the scrap dealer because he offers value for money to the British taxpayer.


Mr Schnapps was introduced to the man in a pub by a man hoping to become the Chairman of the BBC, Richard Shark. The would-be Chairman insists he did ‘nothing wrong’ and the Broadcasting Standards Authority has confirmed the arrangement is above board and hunky dory. Mr Shark said he chose the scrap dealer because he offered value for money to the license fee payer.


The scrap dealer will begin dismantling the UK by next Friday at the latest. He has agreed to turn a blind eye to awkward paperwork and all that EU red tape. He insists he did ‘nothing wrong’ and the Scrap Dealer Standards Commissioner has confirmed the arrangement is registered, beyond reproach, and hunky dory. Mr Kray's yard offers value for money to the British taxpayer.


A government press officer declined to comment as he was too busy removing the editors of the Daily Mail and Express from his rectum.



Writer's pictureThrongsman
Oct 6, 2022

We would have insisted on three pin plug for smartphones, says Truss

Updated: Oct 7, 2022


'Typical EU bureaucracy,' said a spokesperson for the prime Minister, 'insisting on a typical EU common connector for smartphones - the EUSB, probably. Our Brexit dividend means we can be more radical and helpful to UK consumers - everyone has a drawer full of three pin plugs, and we're telling Apple and Samsung to make their phones compatible with them. If they don't, great British manufacturing will take over the smartphone industry - we already lead the market in burner phones, but not sure how they come up with that trade name. Sure, they might be a bit bulkier to accommodate the three pins, but it will show we are different to the EU,' she said today.




photo: https://pixabay.com/users/inspiredimages-57296/



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