.
top of page
Search
A fictional town from 1960s children's TV has accused a neighbouring fictional town of ignoring climate crisis promises.
The Mayor of Trumpton launched a shocking tirade of abuse at a press conference held in front of the town hall because there is probably no actual inside to it. 'We have no problem with the people of Camberwick Green, but they should know that their leader is a tyrannical megalomaniac who must be stopped,' said the Mayor, despite the distinct lack of a mouth.
'He is in cahoots with the energy giant CamProm to control supply and artificially inflate prices. CamProm now dominates critical markets and is holding those markets to ransom.'
'But even worse than that, assurances ratified at the climate summit have been broken. They should not be allowed to con us all with their glossy adverts stipulating that they are making significant shifts towards 'green' energy supply, when their investment in planet protection is a mere fraction of their rampant pursuit of fossil fuel extraction.'
'These are dangerous times, and we have put all of the Trumpton fire brigade on high alert.'
image from pixabay
Circulation figures for free newspapers have increased during 2021. However, this isn't the success story it first appears, because the extra copies are not being read by new subscribers. They are being picked up in bulk for use as fuel, for cooking and for warmth. This is because of the dramatic surge in energy prices.
Angelica and Anastasia (not their real names) agreed to talk to us about their use of free newspapers. Angelica says that the bus station and library are good sources of free papers, with copies of Mature Times, the Metro, property listings and right-on sustainable Eco papers all available. Strong bags are essential to carry the papers and its best to get there early before the commuters. It's good to take a note of publication days for weekly and monthly papers, so that you can get in first. Anastasia estimates that burning free newspapers saves her up to £5 a day in energy costs. She accepts that it isn't very eco-friendly, but shrugs and says 'I'm poor. What else can I do? I used to burn car tyres, but that was very smelly.'
Angelica's husband, Dwaynissimo (not his real name), is less keen on burning the papers and prefers to stuff them down his trousers, for insulation. He says that the Christmas double issue of the Shanklin Argos and Bugle will keep him warm until Easter.
bottom of page