Energy providers insisted the same principle could be used with lumps of coal or uranium: 'The UK will get a whole extra five minutes of free energy, if we all just fiddled with our TV remote.
'There are all kinds of life hacks that could help this winter. Try eating your turkey raw or using your xmas lights as an alternate heat source.
'And try clapping for the NHS, that'll keep you warm.'
As invisible as the rest of the Emperor’s new clothes, the 'energy price cap' is set to enter the dictionary alongside other more established phrases that mean useless. Like ‘levelling up’ or ‘Liz Truss’.
A Conservative spokesman made it rain in the club before shouting ‘Listen to me, peasants! Wear your energy price caps at a jaunty angle and let the good times roll, baby! Or alternatively, pair your energy price cap with some concrete boots and get drowned by debt! This Conservative Government will generously permit peasants to have jam tomorrow, as well as some lovely chocolate teapots. Sadly, as peasants, you won't be able to afford to boil the kettle to make any tea. He can’t alter Tory policy, but we blame Keir Starmer, so does the Daily Mail and so should you peasants.’
Image: Pixabay/PublicDomainPictures
