top of page
Search
Ben Freckles, a songwriter hailing from Llandudno, has been awarded the highest ever award for copyright infringement by the High Court. Freckles, who has published fifty thousand songs in a career spanning seventy years, has never had a song recorded crediting him, but he successfully claimed he wrote the music to most of the songs that have been top ten hits since 1960 in practically every country in the world.
'His ground-breaking, if commercially unpopular, series of instrumentals in 1960 ranging from the admittedly monotonous "A A A A" through to the seemingly adventurous "A B A B A D E A" in 1961, with practically every musical sequence in-between has been proven in court to represent musical sequences used in practically every subsequent song written,' said his lawyer in a statement today, admitting that the cumbersomely titled "A C D B B# B A F# Fb C A E E A A B" was difficult to hum, let alone plagiarise.'
The music industry, it has been alleged, were more than aware of Freckles' output, with industry experts pointing to Genesis' "Abacab" being a direct reference to possibly the only musical combination Freckles hadn't published. Freckles, 94, may not live to enjoy the award - currently being expressed in standard form to make it easier to write on a cheque - as a counter class action from the executors of Beethoven, Bach and Brahms has been launched, with class actions from executors of dead composers whose names don't begin with a B to follow.
photo: https://pixabay.com/users/pexels-2286921/
'
It's absurd to suggest that our proposed name change is a reaction to an unfortunate series of current events. We've been planning this for months, and it's nothing more than a forward step towards re-aligning our great and noble party with our voters. To say otherwise is Poppycock and piffle of the highest order,' said a source close to said Jacob Rees-Mogg, Keeper of her Majesties Hand Towels and Distraction Czar.
'We are in no way cashing in on the inexplicable popularity of a young man with ginger hair and a small guitar.
'No-one batted an eyelid when Labour temporarily changed its name to 'The Beatles Party' back in the sixties in a desperate bid to fool the electorate.'
'For some reason, the words 'The Conservative party' have become toxic, along with the name 'Boris Johnson.' Our leader is about as popular as Herring Gull shit on chips, and we're hoping this completely coincidental name change will do the trick and see us through the next by-election. We've also suggested to the Prime Minister that perhaps changing his name to Ed Sheeran would be a spiffingly good idea.'
bottom of page