The Easter Bunny will be on strike this year in a dispute over pay, pensions and working conditions.
'I'm on a zero hours contract,' said the Easter Bunny. I don't get much work during the year, until Easter, where it all goes a bit mad. I do help the elves a bit at Christmas, as I'm allowed to handle chocolate gifts and baubles. So, I'm on the bread line, and hopping mad.
'Because I'm on a zero hours contract, I can't use the company gym or the staff discount scheme. Â And I don't get to go on team awaydays. Â Which isn't a problem, actually.
'I get docked money if any of the eggs are damaged, but I'm so busy over the Easter weekend that it's impossible to deliver everything safely.  Some years I run a deficit - I pay more for damaged eggs that I get paid. I think the company is institutionally rabbitist, but HR say that I'm not covered by the Egg Qualities Act. My lawyer has suggested telling the company that I'm trans - that should put the wind up then.
The company says that children should not worry about getting their Easter eggs, as they have recruited hundreds of non-union Easter Bunny Community Support Officers and agency staff to do the work instead.
Picture credit: stable diffusion
