BBC airs 'Dr Who and the Garlics' to win over French haters

'We've taken a lot of flack from the right wing press for apparently being biased towards the left,' said a spokes-Tardis for the BBC.

'So to prove how totally impartial we are, we're putting out a show which serves up some truly loathsome foreign villains for Tories and Reform voters to despise.

'It's a special edition of Dr Who in which the doctor, played by an in-form Nigel Farage, takes on a bunch of shifty, treacherous French humanoid machines called the Garlics who want to subject Britain to European rule again.

'Armed with only a sonic vodka and orange screwdriver and 200 Rothmans, Farage's Doctor Who defeats Macron, the evil Garlic leader, by boring him and everyone else to death with a series of interminable press conferences.

'We've really done the background on this,' said the BBC spokes-Jelly Baby, looking increasingly embarrassed at what he had been made to read out.

'The Farage doctor regenerated from the Enoch Powell doctor. He, in turn, regenerated from Oswald Mosley and Lord Haw Haw.

'And the Farage doctor is a Time Lord, all right, because what he really wants is to take Britain back in time to the 1930s and then lord it over everyone as prime minister.'

Image: WixAI

Desperate Starmer steals the TARDIS

Obese fans demand fat Dr Who

A group of overweight Dr Who fans says that a fat Dr Who is long overdue.

The leader of the group said, 'We've had a whole range of Doctors - old, young, white, black, male and female. And not one of them was packing extra pounds.  Tom Baker was quite chubby when he was in the Randall and Hopkirk reboot, but that doesn't count.

'A fat Dr Who would be a role model to overweight kids everywhere.  Which means most of the kids in this country, at least.  You've got to play to your core audience.

'We think that it could be approached playfully...the Doctor gets stuck in TARDIS doors, the TARDIS is bigger on the inside but not big enough, Daleks don’t recognise him on account of the weight gain, the Doctor can't use his sonic screwdriver with sausage fingers…that sort of thing.

'Other fan groups are arguing their own cases. Some want a Welsh Doctor, or a lactose intolerant Doctor, an invisible Doctor, a vegan Doctor, a Doctor with two heads and three arms, all sorts of daft things.  All in good time, we say.   All we’re asking is for Billie Piper to bulk up.’

Image from pixabay

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