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The US Weather Service has taken some stick for failing to warn Texas residents about the risk of flash floods.


However, despite some serious Doge-inflicted staffing cuts, the Weather Service is still gamely trying to do its job. They have issued the following advice:


  • The best predictor of tomorrow’s weather is today’s weather. Fact.


  • If you hang up seaweed outside your house and it gets washed away, then worry.


  • Mackerel sky, twenty four hours dry.  Mackerel on the carpet, time to evacuate.


  • Take extra care if you live somewhere known as Flash Flood Alley


  • Don’t believe everything you see on social media. Sometimes looking out the window is better.


  • When dew is on the grass, rain will never come to pass.  When dew is on the carpet, get out the house before you cark it.


  • When the wind is in the East, check your insurance hasn’t ceased.


  • You’re never going to get rid of the smell of damp carpet.


  • In an emergency, get out fast, despite your urge to stay and film it all for TikTok


And


  • Why not subscribe to our privately funded weather service?




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