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TV Detective spots crime on CCTV footage without asking for it to be rewound




A TV detective was celebrating today, after finding incriminating evidence about a crime on his first watch of newly acquired CCTV footage, without having to stand in the background and then suddenly shout 'Wait! There! Rewind that bit!'.


DCI Mike McBride, the downtrodden lead investigator in the popular police/forensic pathology procedural 'Talking Stiffs', broke with all conventions by immediately spotting his prime suspect smashing a hammer into the head of the victim just 5 seconds into watching some crystal clear colour footage.


'There you go. Bam! Oh, that's got to hurt!', said a delighted McBride. 'And look, what's that, just as he's cocking his head helpfully towards the camera? Is he pulling his wallet out of his pocket? You can see his driving licence with his photo and address on it. That's got to be helpful for us to build a case against him'.


'We were expecting an all nighter', said Rachel Jones, an overworked but incisive and clever sergeant. 'I'd spent the first half of the episode trying to obtain the footage and usually, I'd expect to be endlessly playing it through, getting more and more frustrated at the lack of evidence, and being constantly passed over for promotion, until I'm asked at midnight to just look through it again for a final time, just as McBride is about to head home to his empty flat with just a bottle of whiskey and some jazz music for company.'


'The whole team would gather round my computer, and then the boss would - from 10 metres away - spot a car in the background that we'd missed before, and I'd zoom in and work out a couple of the letters on the number plate.' continued Jones. 'We'd all spill our coffees and leg it over to the suspect's house while Mcbride hollers that all leave is cancelled for the forseeable future' But no, it's case closed and we're only just at the first ad break'.


In the next episode, McBride is surprised when a helpful pathologist provides all the important forensics on a victim in a neat folder on his desk within a couple of hours of the post-mortem. The case is solved within 10 minutes after a key witness then reveals everything she knows about the murderer in the first interview, including all those bits of information that she didn't think were important at all but which turn out to be crucial.



First published 13 Mar 2022



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Cop refuses to have collage of murderer on his wall




Despite pressure from his superiors and the weight of tradition, one police officer said he had no intention of taking his work home with him – particularly as he had recently redecorated. ‘I know everyone else has one,’ the grizzled detective remarked. ‘But images of blood-stained locations. A weapon or two. A complicated web of photographs and coloured bits of string. It’s just not my thing. My wife said go for a nice magnolia and she was right.


‘I have no plans to take a morbid fascination with this case, which then causes me to alienate my family and drink whisky alone. If anything, when I get home, I like to unwind with a nice game of Scrabble and half a glass of shandy. And on weekends I mow the lawn.’


‘There are no silhouettes next to the phrase 'Mr. Big', followed by a question mark. If I wanted a collage, I’d put up one of my kids’ school pictures – where art is the only thing being murdered.’


TV detective to tackle teen graffiti threat


The flagship police drama returns to our screens with a series of hard-hitting story-lines; such as fly-tipping, unsolicited dogging and the misuse of cycle lanes. In a community already devastated by murder, dour faced detectives will tackle a spate of shocking crimes that culminate in the vandalism of the cricket pavilion.


A writer explained: ‘We’ll address the serious issues such as piggybacking on your neighbour’s WiFi, damage to an allotment and, worse still, posting flyers on a telephone pole. It’s gritty. It’s grim. It’s got dog poo everywhere’.


photo: https://pixabay.com/users/alexas_fotos-686414/

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