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In a fetching floral print, the hand-crafted invitations have been sent to every person on Earth. Remarked Conquest: 'The End of Days always felt so vague. It's been so lovely to have a fixed date at last.'
'Thanks to the inaction and incompetence of world leaders, we are now in a position to plan for our special day. It will be a nondenominational service, but at that point, praying to God will do you no good anyway. Oh, and Famine has sorted out everyone's dietary arrangements - which will be light on calories.
'We took awhile to agree on the day, as we wanted to avoid any rail strikes. We're just so pleased that everyone is invited - well technically, it's compulsory. Trust me, you wouldn't want to miss it for the world... what's left of it.'
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