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On the premise that the most chaotic and turbulent times produce the greatest art, the US is bracing itself for a creative explosion during the second Trump term - alongside a few actual bombs. The coming years promise a feast of film, music and poetry, and maybe even the discovery of a rhyme for 'orange'.


In America alone, the sixties counter cultural revolution took place against a backdrop of the Vietnam War, while the Reagan 80s saw hip hop become a global force. In the UK the 80s saw the Specials and the Smiths. In Africa, the most successful pop music innovation came from military-era Nigeria, Mobutu's Zaire and apartheid South Africa. While in Europe, the last days of the Iron Curtain produced - well, it works most of the time.


Still, many established artistes are not happy. The fear of a wave of righteously angry newcomers revolutionising the nation's cultural industries is believed to be why so many Hollywood stars opposed Trump. Said one studio mogul, 'I can take half the stars leaving - as if - believe me, I'd be happy to see them go. But please tell me that having a President who's been shot at doesn't mean I have to start taking Oliver Stone's phone calls again!'


Image by Douglas Gustafson from Pixabay


Having taken one look at the Prime Minister's election campaign, the decision was made to end his suffering and the suffering of the voting public. Said the vet: 'Clearly, he's been run over by his own campaign bus and then mauled by a pack of hungry journalists. You can see in his eyes he's given up. It's a kindness to put him sleep, by sending him to the Lords.'


We can all remember Rishi in younger days, when he used chase his own tail and lick Boris Johnson's balls. He liked nothing more than to race after a culture war and follow it down a internet rabbit hole. But that wet-nosed MP is no more and all we have is mangy old mutt, with only his Ministers to bag up the $hit he leaves behind.


The vet explained: 'As you can see, his policies are all festering, his strategy reeks and his core support is just about to drop off. His quality of life in the last weeks of the campaign, is just going to painful and embarrassing. He deserves a dignified exit, something in keeping with his term as Prime Minister – so I suggest we fire him out of a confetti canon, straight into the White Cliffs of Dover.'




There has been outcry among Conservatives after everyone enjoyed a cracking game of footy instead of getting their knickers in a twist about something completely anodine being "woke".


GB News [sic] pundit and Tory Minister Jock Shockington, complained that an exciting second half where James Maddison scored a 35 yard screamer with seconds to spare in extra time was distracting people from wingeing about the wrong colour Waffen-SS insignia being "PC gone maaaaad".

It's awful to see sport bringing people of all cultures and creeds together instead of providing fertile ground for exploiting patriotism for divisive ends, said Conservative and soon-to-be Reform MP Dean Leerson.


Asked if this was really about football or just a cynical manufactured conflict of ideology, Prime Minister Rishi Sunk said "what's football?".



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