Explaining the new ruling, a health spokesperson said: 'I know we said you needed them and technically syphilis is still a thing, but we need to protect your freedom to experience unwanted pregnancy. Besides, men look like an idiot with one on. How is your penis expected to breathe?. And the PM has been leading on this for years'.
Updated: Jan 6, 2022
Historic England, the government agency responsible for maintaining lists of Harry and Meghan’s residencies, have awarded a gazebo at Bolton’s Covid-19 test centre Grade 1 listed status.
Grade 1 listed buildings are of exceptional national interest, and it was deemed the Bolton test gazebo should qualify. It satisfied the criteria by its huge number of visitors, its significance historically, and through calamitous mismanagement; now being the only functional test centre remaining in England.
Joanne Nolan, a spokesperson for the agency, explained: “This is the first time a temporary structure has been given protected status. I cannot understate the historical importance of the Bolton gazebo. It has become a key battleground in the futurely-historic war against Covid-19. David Starkey is filming there, right now, with a film crew.”
An overview on the Historic England website indicates the gazebo’s prestige: ‘Attendants bloom in hi-viz yellow. Socially distant punctuations upon a desolate concrete landscape evoke a reflective dystopian twist of Wordsworth’s daffodils. No toilets on site.’
Councillor Derek Tattersall, summed-up the implications for the town: “We’ve got big plans to jazz-up the place. It’ll our lockdown Lourdes.”
